Avoiding the Deep Sh–! (by Montana Grant)
By angelamontana

Posted: December 16, 2015

untitledI love my dogs! All pets show us love by leaving presents around the yard. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could find a way to avoid them?

When working in the yard, I always make a quick patrol around the yard to hunt up and remove the daily fresh presents. Everyone has their own technique and tools. I prefer a full sized shovel and a separate small flat shovel that I use to scrape up the deep sh—or what I will also call presents. Once I have a full shovel, I place the presents into a pre-dug hole that has enzymes added to it. With two BIG dogs things can get deep in a hurry!

The fall is especially troublesome. The fallen leaves make for a perfect camouflage that obscures even the biggest presents. Some lazy folks leave the presents until the spring thaw! That way the dissolved gifts can seep into the groundwater for their wells. They reap what they sow.

What amazes me is how the pets follow you around and seem to laugh at you when you discover a fresh present. You know you are in Deep Sh—when you have a bunch of leaves sticking to your boots. Once the area has been cleared, the pets secretly return to the area you plan to work in and leave another surprise. This sh—gets old pretty fast.

Hygiene is so important for pets and people. We have all known neighbors that clean their lawns of presents maybe twice a year. “We let nature take its course!” The truth is that they are too damn lazy to deal with it. Leaving the presents in your yard leaves parasites, stink, and a boatload of health issues that are better avoided. The “Nature Lovers” are also the same folks that enjoy going barefoot in their grass! Nothing is worse than discovering a fresh present when barefoot!

I once had neighbors, in Montana, that allowed their small children to go wherever they wanted. Free styling may be good for them but not along my fences. The Little Shi-ters would drop trowel and back up next to my fence posts. The fence kept the dogs in but their fresh presents were a concern. When I went to the parent’s house, the Mother, who was a nurse, had no problem with it! One afternoon, all 3 “Shi-ters” were lined up along my fence and I had just let the dogs out. The barking and surprise of two big dogs caused a panic in the Shi-ter Herd. They hobbled home with pants and presents around their ankles crying for Momma.

Just goes without saying, “you don’t sh-t in your neighbors yard! Marking our territory is important but, stay on your side of the fence!

Keepin it Real!

Montana Grant

For more Montana Grant, visit his website at www.montanagrantfishing.com