As I sit here pondering life, while caressing my Christmas gift from the outdoorsman; you know, two new handguns, not one, but TWO; I think about what my New Year’s resolutions will be for the year 2016. I suppose I do have TWO hands but seriously? I guess I should be grateful it wasn’t a couple’s wild hog hunt like he suggests for every other winter holiday. You know then we would have BOTH gotten AR 15’s from “Santa”. I guess I didn’t know “Santa” was a member of the NRA.
So anyways… New Year’s resolutions on living with an outdoorsman.
I pledge to TRY and do the following:
- I will try to refrain from eye rolling every time the outdoorsman wants to go for a drive…AKA- animal scouting in the guise of a merry little scenic drive.
- I will get a new credit card in the outdoorsman’s name…with a low limit in an attempt to keep those fuel bills lower.
- I will try to not murder him when he stomps across my sparkling hardwood floors with muddy, snowy, or bloody boots on.
- I will attempt to not sprinkle the dirty duck feathers left in the kitchen sink from his cleaning session- on his dinner.
- I will try to not wash his camo in lavender scented laundry soap when he makes me mad.
- I will contain my “sighing” to weekends only.
- I will try to suppress my giggling when he asks me if I like his new camo hunting clothes.
- I will attempt to encourage his monster bull elk dreams, rather than suggest a trip to Hawaii.
- I will at least try on the pink camo clothes he buys for me. He really is proud of himself.
- I won’t hide his favorite duck calls, except if he really deserves it.
I cannot make any promises, but I can promise I will try. In return all I would like is endless foot rubs, chocolates and daily compliments. Maybe if the outdoorsman gives me about a gallon of hot coffee, I will attempt to survive a freezing cold duck hunting extravaganza because I know he is just dying to show me his superior caveman hunting skills. I think he secretly hopes that I will decide freezing to death is FUN and will want to go duck hunting every weekend…Sigh….Oops!! Sighing only on the weekends per resolution #6!
Wish me luck!!
Kristen Berube lives a crazy, laugh-filled life with her outdoorsman husband Remi and their three camo-clad children in Missoula, Montana. A graduate of Montana State University and the Northern Alberta Institute of Technology, she loves being a mom and enjoys hiking, fishing, and camping. “Confessions of a Camo Queen: Living with an Outdoorsman” is her first book. –
It is available for purchase at: