By Montana Grant

Posted: June 2, 2018

Humans are mammals and need to get rid of their bodily wastes. Men and women sometimes need to be creative when relieving themselves along the highways, trails and waterways. There is not always a rest area when you need one.

I am pretty sure that God is a man. Why else would men have it easier when having to pee? A quick unzip and a bit of marksmanship allows males to pretty much whiz away. Ducking behind open truck doors, trees and walls allows us to hide and discreetly eliminate our water waste.

Girls have it tougher when peeing. Many young girls are challenged with off road peeing in the wild. Portable toilets can be available, but they take up room in the truck. Wilderness peeing often involves trees, tall grass, sage brush, and rock formations which are not always available. Fortunately, most girls learn from a friend that is a World Class Wilderness Pee-er!

Wild Whizzing requires some extra gear and etiquette to maintain health and avoid tickets. Always have some toilet paper, napkins, or paper on hand. Store them in zip bag with some hand sanitizer. They need to be quickly accessible.

Select a safe and secure place to do your business. Remember that poison ivy, insects, snakes, and briars could ruin your day. Be observant before dropping trowel. Usually with a little scouting, you can locate a safe and private location. Kick or dig a small “Cat Hole” to contain the waste. Cover and bury it when done. No one needs to know where you have been.

For guys, if you need to pull off a highway, have a pee jug in the truck or trunk. Open both doors on the private side of the truck. Now you look like you are just looking for something. Pour out the jug contents when done. Number two will require more scouting, planning, and off roading.

Once relieved, life goes on and all is well in the world. Just remember that the more input the more output. Consider this after your 3rd soda, coffee, or bottle of water.

 Pee proud, safe, and smart!

Montana Grant

For more Montana Grant, visit his blog at

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