PEE THIRTY!!!
By Montana Grant

Posted: October 23, 2021

Midnight bathroom calls are no fun! When you are camping, they are even less appreciated. No one likes to get up in the middle of the night and take care of personal business. Not only do you interrupt your sleep cycle, but everyone in camp may also be interrupted as well.

Hunters, fishers, and campers are in close quarters at camp. The rustling of tent flaps, doors, or flushing waste systems makes noise. Light sleepers instantly wake up. Everyone will know your business.

Here are some suggestions on how to address your Pee Thirty nature calls.

WEAR A DIAPER!   Personal pee garments have come along way. Adult Depends can be comfortable and simple to wear. For a midnight Pee Call, you can just let er fly and still be comfortable and dry. Just don’t get into the habit at home.

EAR PLUGS   Wearing ear plugs will keep the distractions down. Now if you are in the wild where bears and other dangers exist, maybe forgo this idea. You do want to get surprised by an unwanted predator. Ear plugs are a good suggestion when trying to sleep in a barracks like camp or RV.

PEE JUGS    I learned from some expert Montana campers, to take a jug to bed with you. With proper practice and care, you can relieve yourself in the sleeping bag. A wide mouth Apple Sauce container works well. Don’t forget to tighten the lid. It will take some awareness to perform this pee task, but it beats getting up, interrupting other campers, and disturbing your sleep as well. The warm jug can be shoved down by your toes to help keep them warm, or simply placed on the floor near your cot, incase you need it again. I am sure that ladies have an option here as well, but I defer to their personal expertise. A funnel attachment may be useful.

OUTHOUSE TRIP    Leaving the camper or tent in the middle of the night has some risks. You do not want to bump into a bear, snake, or… This trek also means shoes, and coat and more interruptions from a restful sleep. Be prepared with a light, bear spray, or protections.

RV USE    As soon as you move around the RV, everyone knows. Water pumps, flush systems, and noise is shared.

PLAN TO NOT PEE!     Stop taking in fluids a few hours before you hit the sack. Don’t drink a beverage right before you go to bed. Relieve yourself before you go to bed.

Disposal of any diapers or pee containers is important. If you are at a camp, you can disperse the urine around the camp perimeter to discourage bears and other critters from crossing the Pee Line. You can also use the toilets or latrines to dump it out. Diapers are biodegradable and can be buried. Be discreet and courteous. Do not leave the bottles around.

Pee Thirty is a reality for all of us. Plan you Pee schedule ahead of time so you can avoid interrupting a restful night’s sleep.

Sunrise comes early and you need to be well rested before you head afield.

Montana Grant