By Montana Grant

Posted: July 14, 2019

So, I saw a “tangle-footed, tangled legged” cowboy the other day. He was probably a “Pilgrim” that was “Rode hard and put away wet”! He was stumbling along a “Pig Trail”, “painting his nose”, and was “Airin his lungs”. He was “Full as a Tick”! What a “Piddle”.

Montanans have a unique way of talking. Our special lingo sometimes needs a translator to understand.  Some words make sense. We all know to not “pee into the wind”. A “Bangtail” is a wild horse, and “a lick and a promise” is a job done “half assed”. Watchin yer topknot” makes sense as advice to be careful. We all know folks that must “Stir the Turd” or just don’t know when to shut up.

Here is the translation. “I saw a drunk cowboy the other day. He was probably a cowboy from the east coast that was ugly, rough, and hard looking. He was stumbling along a small side road, getting drunker, and cussing. He was very drunk. What a waste of time.”

The cowboy was carrying a “Railroad Bible”, a deck of cards. A “Rebel Soldier”, rye whiskey”, was in his coat pocket. I am sure that he was the “Tail hog in the trough”, best position, when it comes to drinking. His “2 drinks of whiskey”, overalls, were torn and filthy.

While riding on a “pimple”, small easterner saddle, he was “poppin his corn”, speaking out, and knew it was time to “post the pony”, pay up.

“Stirred Turds” stink when disturbed. Let them dry out and go away.

Montana Grant

For more Montana Grant, find him at his “ace in the hole”,

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