Yes, I said it, “ASS”! Perhaps the least mounted, pursued, and attractive fish that swims is the “Ass Fish”. This deep ocean fish is actually a Cusk Eel. They are abundant, beefy, tough, and butt ugly! Many anglers enjoy catching Bad, Huge, and Big ass fish.
The name “Ass” does not relate to anatomy but rather from a Greek word that relates to a Donkey or Ass. Acanthonus Armatus is the Greek name for this “buttiful” fish. “onus” means “ass”. “Akanthos” translates to donkey. I guess that the Greeks sometimes caught this odd fish. Maybe Ass Fish was even a delicacy in some sit-down restaurants.
Ass Fish move in short spurts, shake, flutter, and stagger, somewhat like a donkey. Most are caught using deep trawl nets. I am not sure what bait you would use to catch some Ass on a fishing rod. Maybe a bait shaped like a Thong or… If you did catch one, I am sure that you would really “shake that thing!” Once popular, I am sure that a “Ass Pro Shop”, retail and catalog store, would bend over backwards to help anglers out.
This big ass fish lives in cold, deep, waters that stay between 37-39 degrees. Their bodies, and booties, are soft and flabby. Lack of food at great depths, and water pressures, do not help them grow to a Kardashian level.
These deep-sea piscatorial fish share their environment with another Greek favorite fish. The Halichoeres Bivittatus, which translates into “Slippery Dick”!
Displaying an Ass Fish in your Rumpus Room may not be advised. These unusual fish look more like a glorified Tad Pole than a traditional fish. Finding a taxidermist with experience in mounting an Ass Fish is tough. No Butts about it!
The End!
Montana Grant
