By Montana Grant

Posted: October 13, 2018

There is nothing worse than being afloat or afield and needing to take a number 2. A number 1 is a simpler task, at least for men. A quick zip, a rock or bush, and the deed is done. A number 2 is more involved. If you are wearing bibs, several layers, and a heavy coat, time becomes an issue.

Hopefully you have some tissue or paper. In a pinch, I have seen sleeves cut off. Handkerchiefs, bandannas, hats and t-shirts become sacrificed. Leaves, fauna, and other plant matter sometimes fill the niche. When you gotta go, you gotta go!

A little pre-planning is important. Let’s start with a menu. Chili, pizza, and beer is like building an atomic bomb. If you need to get up early to head afield, allow plenty of time to evacuate. Know the fishing access sites and rest stops incase once is not enough. Carry napkins, tissue, or needed cloths to clean up after the deed. Sanitary wipes are a good idea. Know the drill and be prepared.

Hide the evidence. Dig a cat hole, cover the deed with rocks or dirt. No critter needs to get involved and showing off is un-necessary.

My Dad was the master of the Number 2. There would be no hunting or fishing until his morning rituals were complete. Getting up early was especially hard. His routine was off, and he had to revisit the issue several times. Once at the destination, we would all be geared up and ready to go and…” Damn, I gotta go again!”

Nature doesn’t care when or where you are. When nature calls, she can’t be ignored. It is time to address the issue or…

Montana Grant

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